Rib-pendence Day 2k9

Well we are now officially half way through 2009 already. Coincidentally, today is also Canada Day which is sort of like Independence Day here in the US. According to Wikipedia, Canada Day is a federal statutory holiday celebrating the anniversary of the 1 July 1867 enactment of the British North America Act, which united Canada as a single country of four provinces. Lovely. So bust out the Molson and Canadian Mist tonight while kicking back and think about how much Canada has influenced your life.

Now if Canada Day reminds us of one thing it is this: July 4th must be right around the corner. Leave it to those crafty Canadians to have their holiday serve as a reminder to us, otherwise oblivious Americans, that our national day of celebration is nigh. Independence day gives everyone in America a free pass to get drunk in public and blow stuff up with fireworks all while eating as much BBQ as humanly possible.

With that in mind, I present to you the event I will be partaking in on the 4th of July: Rib-pendence Day 2k9. In case you are having trouble grasping the idea behind the name, I will go ahead and break it down for you. You see, July 4th is Independence Day. And ribs are delicious. When you combine the two, you a day full of drinking, swimming, rib pong and independence. In effect, we will be going America all over everyone's asses. Feel free to join in on the fun.

With the year now half way over, it is important to look back and ponder where the hell the first half went. My guess, Canada. They're very crafty.

Have a safe and fun July 4th everyone!

Getting screwed wholesale

Whoa, been more than a week since the last post. So let's see what's in the news right now? Oh, today is Earth Day. So everyone needs to go out today and give the Earth a high-five or a fistbump to let it know that you are still down with it. We would not want the Earth to think that we are no longer BFF with it.

In the future, hopefully we will have colonized other celestial bodies and we can have days for those as well. Who wouldn't want to celebrate Titan Day, or Gliese 581 e Day? I, for one, welcome a time where every day of the year has a certain planet's holiday associated with it. Think of all the cake!

Today is also Administrative Professionals Day, or Secretary's Day if you want to be an ass about it. So if you are fortunate enough to have a secretary, go give them a good fistbump to show them how much you appreciate their dedicated service. Or go bang a really ugly one, if that's your way of showing appreciation.

Having 2 holidays on 1 day seems like a bit of a cop out. I mean, seriously, now we are only going to be able to get 1 cake. And it will probably have something to the effect of "Happy Earth/Administrative Professionals (Secretary's) Day!" written on it and there will be barely any room to put lots of strawberries, if any at all, on it. This time, they have gone too far. First, they took away Washington's Birthday and I said nothing. Next, it will be Columbus Day. Where does it stop people?

In closing, as you are enjoying your Upgrayedd (Double-Dose) Holiday with a nice piece of cake, take some time out to think of all the other cakes you could be eating.

I realize this was sort of a rambling post, but I'm mad as hell and not going to take it anymore!