Showing posts with label poor image editing skills. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poor image editing skills. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Summer Time!



Wow, June 1st already. The year is really flying by. Feels like it was just yesterday when I was stranded outside the Mezz at 4am on New Year's Eve. Now summer is here and, as usual, it is absolutely God awful hot outside. This year is a little unique in the fact that, here in Houston, we have had almost zero rain. April and May are generally the months where we get the giant storms of the century that knock power out and prevent me from playing xbox and blogging. Summer time also means the return of the dreaded hurricane season. I only say dreaded because you would absolutely not believe the hype it gets in the media around here when the season starts. Every year it is the same "how to be prepared for the apocalyptic storm that is surely going to kill everything and everyone that you have ever loved ever." Is it too much to ask the media to spin up the wheels on the fear machine only when there is a reasonable likelihood of being hit by one of these storms? Yes? *sigh*.

And, of course, there is the annual report out of Colorado State University (who, by the way, has never been hit by a hurricane) who predicts, every year, that the upcoming season will be the most horrifying and intense season that dwarfs even the most terrifying nightmares that mankind has ever had. This news, without fail, always drives up the prices of gas at the pump due to the speculation that some oil refineries might be knocked offline for a few days because of a storm. What a beautiful twisted system we have.

It is kind of funny that today, the first day of hurricane season, there happens to be a "disturbance" in the area of the Atlantic Ocean near Florida which means that news stations across the country have coverage similar to this:



Then, after a few months of little to no activity usually around August, the Colorado State people will inevitably revise their outlook downward for the current hurricane season and the news stations will be all like:



Must be nice to be able to make predictions year after year that end up having to be "revised" and still have people hanging on your every word because you were right "that one time."

At any rate, I generally enjoy Hurricane season for what it is. Sure, they can be devastating storms that cause tremendous amounts of loss of property and life, but at the same time I can't help but look at them in awe for what they are. So, with that in mind, here are a couple links to keep you apprised of the 2011 Hurricane Season. None of these links have scare coverage or anything like that, just raw information, which is great if you just want to know some information about a particular hurricane. So before you panic when a hurricane does form, crack open a beer first and check out some of these links before you start looting and pillaging your neighborhood. Enjoy!

National Hurricane Center: The National Weather Service page about both the Atlantic and Pacific active hurricanes.

TropicWX: A no frills weather map site with satellite, radar, infrared ocean temps, time-lapse animations and much more.

StormPulse: Great hurricane tracking site that shows the possible future path of a hurricane based on several different models.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Turbo Census



Census got you down? Does the whole “10 questions in 10 minutes” thing have you confused? Well you’re in luck! Introducing, TurboCensus, from the creators of TurboTax! The simplest and least confusing way to fill out the census form HASSLE FREE!

We here at MNN sat down with the CEO of TurboCensus and this is what he had to say: “Well we noticed after many successful years of TurboTax that the public wanted a simple way to fill out any and all government forms and we figured that this was the next logical step for us.”

WOW!

With TurboCensus, you too will be able to feel confident that you will be returning a 100% error free census form, guaranteed!

Unsure about how many illegal aliens are currently residing with you? NO PROBLEM!

Unsure whether you have to count your 37 year old basement dweller son? NO PROBLEM!

Have problems counting things in general? NO PROBLEM!

TurboCensus will walk you step by step during the entire process. Simply pop in the cd, and fill out the Census form ON YOUR TIME! You can even pause and save your progress while taking a break to go watch your favorite television show!

Act right now and we’ll also send you a copy of TurboGetYourLifeTogether, FREE OF CHARGE! That’s right, the award winning software that walks you step by step throughout the process of getting your life back on track! YOURS FREE!

That’s right, for only $49.99, we’ll send you BOTH TurboCensus AND TurboGetYourLifeTogether! That’s TWO amazing products for the price of ONE!

You shouldn’t have to feel insecure about filling out your census form. And thanks to TurboCensus, you won’t have to! ORDER NOW!


This was my poor attempt at an April fools joke, btw.
My Amazon.com Wish List