Going legit

I was going to write about the recent Olympic Games in this post but something much more important has come up. Besides, screw the Olympics anyway, they had their fun in the sun already. Moving along, I ran across this article earlier today. I’ll give you a minute or so to peruse over it.

Finished? Good.

What that article boils down to in a nutshell is this: I am now an official news organization. If you have read any of this blog over the past 2 years, you know about the hard hitting journalism that I bring to the table on a quazi weekly basis. And now, I am finally getting some recognition for my efforts. Since I am now officially a member of the press corps, I will be rubbing elbows with other hard hitters of the media world: Cooper Anderson, Shepherd Smith and most importantly, Erin Burnett.

Now that I am legit, I expect the book deals and drunken yacht parties to begin immediately. And the money, don’t forget about the money! I’ve already begun making my official m1kepwn blogger press pass.

Another important part of being a news organization is the staff. I will be hiring quite a few unpaid interns in the upcoming weeks that will assist me with remembering to post on this site as well as reminding their friends and family to come to this site and view ads. Ads are really all news organizations care about anyway. Oh, and did I mention the money?

The next big step for me is to make a catchy 3 letter acronym for this site. MNN, or M1KEPWN NEWS NETWORK, seems to be the most appropriate. MNN, The Least Trusted Name in News. Damn, I just realized that I am going to need some kind of dramatic theme music to play when someone visits here. This will be another job for the interns as I simply have no time for it now.

And finally, I plan on doing my IPO for MNN in the near future. I will be adding an investor relations link sometime later in the day for all you potential investors out there who want to be a part of this glorious news outlet and share in its profits. I hope to be listed on the NYSE in a matter of weeks. Al investors will be invited to the aforementioned drunken yacht parties and will be treated with copious amounts of Brothers Fried Chicken.

Hello, ladies. Look at your man. Now back to me. Now back to your man. Now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me. But if he got off his ass and onto the computer he could blog like me. Look again, the computer is now diamonds. Anything is possible when you become a legit news organization. I’m on a horse.