Pissing off aliens

Well I guess it should have been obvious, but it appears that David Stern does indeed read my blog and had to go out of his way to ensure that my prediction would not come to be. So, like most of you last night, I watched game 5 of the NBA finals and realized pretty early on that it was going to be the Lakers walking away with the title. And if I believed that the NBA wasnt rigged, I would also have to applaud the Rockets for giving the Lakers the most amount of trouble in the playoffs this year.

There is a group, however, who will most likely never be able to watch game 5. Im talking, of course, about aliens. Let me go ahead and drop some science on you real quick. On Saturday, June 13th, all television stations in the US were mandated to switch over to an all digital format which effectively terminating the constant stream of analog broadcasting that had been emanating from Earth the past 70 or so years. Those 70 years of information will continue outward in the universe forever, available for any alien species to eavesdrop on.

Being overly conservative and assuming that we are the only intelligent species in our galaxy and also assuming that every galaxy has at least 1 species of our level of intelligence, I think it is safe to say that in no more than 3 million years there are going to be some pretty pissed off aliens. Think how pissed you would be if had to suffer through 2 months of basketball playoffs without ever knowing how they ended. In the aliens version of Wikipedia, Saturday, June 13th would be the day that human civilization bit the bullet.

In order to prepare for the eventuality of aliens coming to Earth in the future and demanding to watch the remainder of the 2009 NBA Finals, we can look to Futurama for advice. In the episode "When Aliens Attack", space aliens from Omicron Persei 8 are outraged when Earths broadcast of Single Female Lawyer is abruptly cut off due to a power failure. They proceed to fly to Earth and demand to know how the episode ends. However, since the episode aired on Earth over 1000 years ago, there is no copy available and the crew is forced to reshoot the final scenes at Planet Express. No doubt we will have to do something similar. And, somewhat ironically, we will have to stage a basketball game in very much the same way it is staged now.

I cant imagine how much ad money I would have if this blog were still being read 3 million years in the future.....