Wednesday, August 26, 2009

More New Orleans fun



I had another awesome weekend in New Orleans. Now having been there 5 times in the past year or so, I have honestly never found myself to be bored of it. The place is like a mini Vegas that just so happens to be within reasonable driving distance.

Anyway, while I was there I witnessed quite a few things at the casino. For starters, I had a pretty ridiculous hot streak at craps while playing the Dont Pass line. Shooters were making their point and then sevening out almost immediately. Even my two dollar high-low bet was hitting pretty often netting me 29 dollars each time. The hard ways were more or less not hitting and I stopped playing them a couple hours in. I netted about $350 that first night.

Not content to let the good times stop, I started right back where I left off the following day. This time around, however, I encountered one of the coldest (for a dont pass player) tables I have ever been at. Shooters were hitting 7's and 11's on the come out role very consistently, never once crapping out on that second day. Even usually solid points like 4 and 10 were being hit over and over. I lost $200 and decided to pretty much call an end to gambling for the trip while still being up.

Several drinks later, I was persuaded to play some Pai-Gow since there were actually a few spots open at the table. While at the table, I proceeded to get a royal flush on one of my hands. Had I been betting the 5 dollar fortune bonus (sucker bet), I would have netted $750. A true tragedy indeed. I ended up only winning about 50 bucks at the table before I decided to call it quits. I actually ended up at the craps table 1 more time so see if my luck had changed. Sure enough, it hadnt and I ended up losing another hundred bucks to finish the trip up only about $120. Still good, but could and should have been better if I had just called it quits earlier. When in Rome, I guess.

Anyway, the coolest part of the trip was watching Jonathan turn 40 dollars into 700 dollars at the blackjack table in just a mere 5 or 6 hands. It was absolutely incredible. He walked up to the table just to "waste the 40 bucks" he had so we could leave and go get food. His first bet of 25 dollars won so he let it ride. Blackjack, 75 dollar win. Now betting 100 dollars a hand, he wins again and then once more. He now has about 300 bucks locked up and he is ready to call it quits. He throws out his remaining money less the 300 he is walking away with and gets dealt aces. Now, per basic blackjack strategy, he decided to split the aces. The dealer counts out the money he has bet and informs him it is $126.50. After putting out another $126.50 for the split, he proceeds to blackjack one of the aces and get a 19 on the other one. The dealer turned up 17 and he won both hands. After all the dust had settled, he walked away with some 700 dollars from the table all in about 5 minutes of playing time.

So ya, the casino was awesome as usual. During the course of the weekend I also met Doyle Brunson at a restaurant and got him to sign a 5 dollar bill for me. So awesome. I also had one of the nastiest vomits I have ever had in my entire life. The orange Mango Mango slushy with the shine in it is what did me in. My accord got 30 mpg during the trip which I was pretty happy with. All in all, a fantastic trip. Can't wait to go back!

Also, I finally made some of that internet money. AdSense deposited 100 bucks into my account this morning. Thanks to all of you who are making the Champagne Campaign a reality!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

School traffic



Kids start going back to school next week. While this time of year generally sparks the turnover from young kids to old troll people serving you at fine fast food establishments, it also bring about change in another less obvious way. Traffic. Yes, for some unknown reason, kids going back to school creates traffic during the morning and drive home commute in a way that cannot currently by explained by science or phases of the moon.

Without a doubt you have surely encountered this phenomenon if you travel on any freeway in the Houston area. I only specifically say Houston because it is quite possible that this is merely a localized event characterized by the sort of people who live in these parts. If that is the case, perhaps an episode of "In Search Of with Leonard Nimoy" on the History Channel is in order. If he is able to persuade a massive audience about the possible existence of the Loch Ness Monster and Big Foot, I have no doubt he will turn up compelling evidence that will pose new questions about this traffic phenomena.

My own personal theory, however, will now be explained with very little to no scientific research on the topic. In a way, you could call this whole post purely speculative and highly misinformed.

My idea is that the whole thing is a conspiracy conjured up by the oil companies to keep gas prices high during the latter part of the so called "summer driving season". I realize that I am getting into some serious stuff right here and also the fact that they could flood the chamber with gas at any point. Nevertheless, those responsible must know that their plans are now out in the open. You see, what do gas companies love more than anything else in the world? Thats right, money. And how do they get that money? By shaking down school children in the parking lot for their lunch money, thats how.

Once the kids have no more money, they call home and request further funding for their daily sustenance. Parents currently on the freeway are forced to turn around and return to the school to give their kids more money. So you see, the parents who dropped their kids off early in the morning are returning to the school at the same time as the slacker parents who drop their kids of right before the bell rings leaving all parties involved getting back onto the freeway at the exact same time as one another.

I realize that I am probably blowing your minds right here. Leonard Nimoy would surely be proud of what I have uncovered. I know what you are all asking, "Mike, do you have proof?" The simple answer to that is no. The long, detailed answer would also probably lead you to conclude the same. Regardless, the message is now out here on the internets. No longer will you have to wonder why there is miserable traffic on the freeway from September to June. Of course, I suppose you could also just chalk it up to people taking a lot of vacation during the summer months. But sadly, that is not the kind of breaking news that the people are looking for.

Im off to Pei Wei for lunch.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

My new car



Well I did it. Yesterday I purchased a 2009 Honda Accord. While the Volvo VT 880 would have provided an excellent opportunity to cruise the streets of Houston, I decided that the economics of it simply were not feasible.

Thanks to the "Cash for Clunkers" government program, I was able to get a pretty slick deal on the Accord. After looking at both the Toyota Camry and Nissan Altima, the Accord was the hands down winner possessing the pros of both cars with none of the cons. The Accord is very roomy and has quite a lot of giddy-up. In fact, the only real thing I dont like about the car in the driver seat. After more than 10 years of sitting on a 4 inch think piece of foam, it is going to take a while to get used to these new less comfortable seats. They just dont make em' like they used to amirite?

The best part of the transaction yesterday was the turning over of my clunker to the dealership and having to explain all the caveats and quirks. Somewhat ironically, the clicker that unlocks the doors to my Explorer died just yesterday leaving the car completely inaccessible save for the only working key latch on the car which happens to be the trunk. I also had to explain how to hold down the alarm override switch while turning the ignition in order to start the car. Those features will not be missed.

I was able to get the salesman into the "come on, guy, you're breaking my balls here" mode so I walked away feeling as if I had done the haggling to the best of my ability. I named my price and after several tense negotiations, I got it. The whole experience was quite exhilarating.and I did the whole thing on an empty stomach. There was quite a bit of the old "Well my manager ain't going to agree to that" and all that other nonsense. I was a bit disappointed that he never offered to"throw in the under coating for free" or anything else like that you usually see on tv.

When I got the car home, I learned that it had an Emergency Trunk Release. I proceeded to hop into the back of the trunk and test it out to see if it worked. It did. In hindsight, this should have been something I tested out at the dealership. Imagine how funny it would be to get in the trunk, test out the release and then in a dead pan manner ask the sales guy if there was any way for it to be disabled and that it would be a deal breaker if you could not. Hilarity surely would have ensued.

So now I have my new car. Hopefully I am able to drive it into the ground the same way as I did with my Exploder. Would I have purchased a car if it were not for the government rebate program? Probably not. I most likely would have continued to dump massive sums of money into my Exploder until it simply ceased to run anymore. I am feeling pretty good to go with the car. Here's to another 120,000 miles.
My Amazon.com Wish List