My semi goes 185

It appears that my beloved 1998 Ford Explorer Sport may be getting past its prime a bit. Several, if not all, of my friends continue to utter phrases like "get rid of that POS already" and "should your car be making that high pitch noise?" and "way to destroy the environment, asshole". Ok that last one not so much. Either way, I have decided to at least consider the idea of purchasing a new car.

Now when going to the dealership, I plan on employing the George Costanza approach to buying a car. "You never tell 'em you like the car. You're not sure what you want. You don't even know why you're here. Youll see. First they stick you with the undercoating, rust-proofing, dealer prep. Suddenly, youre on your back like a turnip. No matter what they say, you say, "Ill walk out of here right now!"" This method should work well due to the fact that I really have nothing wrong with my current vehicle. Sure it requires a little diligent maintenance every once in a while, but certainly nothing that would prevent me from using it on a day to day basis.

Nay, the main reason I am looking at this point in time is the "Cash for Clunkers" program that our government has so graciously provided. Under the plan, I could get up to $4500 dollars for trading my car in for a more fuel efficient car. This value is far more that I could realistically get under a normal trade in which would probably be in the area of only $1000 on a good day.

So with that in mind, I have lined up several candidate cars for which I will test drive in the coming days and weeks. Behold:

2010 Toyota Camry
This is the obvious winner right out of the gate. Solid fuel efficiency, great safety ratings and a general feeling of swankyness. The sun roof is a bit worrisome as it would be one extra entry point for zombies that I would have to fortify. Im not sure if the 2.4L 4 cylinder engine would have the power needed to plow through the hoard of zombies either. This car also features adequate cargo room to hold several days rations of food and or weapons. After all incentives plus the money from the Cash for Clunkers program, the price wouldnt be unbearable either. All in all, I would rate it as 2/5 on the zombie survival scale and 4/5 on the bang for the buck scale.

2010 Nissan Murano
This is an interesting car. While not possessing the same fuel efficiency standards of the camry, the Murano does put up some good numbers for a Mid-sized SUV. It is also considerably more pricey starting out at around $30k. However, you would be able to store many more supplies in the event of the zombie apocalypse. The engine is also more powerful which would come in hand should you run into any hordes of mindless zombies that need to be plowed through. If I decide that I cannot make the downsize from SUV to sedan, this will most likely be my pick. 3/5 on the zombie survival scale. 5/5 on the pain to my wallet scale.

Volvo VT 880
Our final candidate comes to us from our friends at Volvo. The VT800 is your standard top of the line Semi-truck. Equipped with a 16-liter, 600-hp Volvo D16 engine, I would have the extra muscle needed to move heavier loads or doubles over long distances and up steep grades. And with over 520 cubic feet of living space in your choice of beautifully coordinated interior design packages, you know youll be riding in style. Sure it may not get a high MPG score but with 300 gallons of fuel to use, who cares? This is the ultimate in zombie survival. It will also guarantee you being noticed by the shawtys as you roll by in your 40 inch spinnaz. The price is a bit steep at $120k. And Im pretty sure that this car will not qualify for the Cash for Clunkers program. Never the less, 5/5 on the zombie survival score. 5/5 on the awesomeness score.

Anyway, I now have to get out there and test drive all these things. Do a little haggling and come out with the best bang for the buck as well as zombie survival preparedness. Ill keep you updated.