Email signatures

Ok people, seriously. It is time to put a stop to ridiculously long email signatures. I realize that you are a precious little snowflake who rests on the rainbow farts that unicorns make but SERIOUSLY! Your signature is not a resume and therefore does not need every intricate detail about your job title nor several addresses and phones numbers you can be reached at. Also, nobody cares about your company logo or several disclaimers about what to do if you have received his or her email in error.

Here is an appropriate email which includes a signature:

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Hey Mike,

Yes, no problem. I can be there at that time and we can negotiate terms of the ransom for the release of your daughter.

Regards,

Armed Gunman


Armed Gunman | Hostage Taker
a_gunman@somefakeemail.com
(123) 456-7890
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As you can see, the person sending the email has a simple, yet eloquent signature that explains who he is, what he does, and how to reach him. You know this guy means business. Note how no address was given nor any kind of discernible company logo. If the person who he sent this email to gave a damn about the logo of the Armed Gunman's company or street address, he could simply email or call him for said information.

Here is an email that contains an inappropriate signature:

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Yo Jana,

You were looking mighty fine today at the office cotillion, wanna dance?

Regards,

Tom

Tom F. Clown | Mail Room Clerk
f_clowns@mailroomguys.com
114456 West Main Street
Faketon, WI
Suite 8800
Room 6
Behind the desk
If you hit the Burger King you've gone too far.
[100x100 logo of company I work for]
[Cell Number]
[Work Number] ext 999.
[Home Number]
[Emergency Contact Information]
[License Plate Number]
[Make and Model of car]

This email is privileged and confidential. If you have received this email in error, please discard is immediately and then use bleach on your brain. Failure to do so will place you in violation of FCC statute 100.6.a.7 in accordance with federal sentencing guidelines of no less than 3 but not to exceed 6 years of me, Tom F. Clown, harassing you. You have been warned.

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As you can see, Tom will most likely not be getting a response from Jana. The actual content of his email was less than 10% of the entire email message. Tom will subsequently die alone.

I understand that if you are not in the business world you might think I am exaggerating a bit. Sadly, I am not. So please, in the name of all that is good and sane, keep your email signatures short and reasonable. I'm not saying get rid of them, just don't make me read the same novel over and over again when you respond with "Ok, sounds good to me." in your email. Thanks.