From the President to the President

I am not sure why I never picked up on the fact the the outgoing President customarily leaves a note in the oval office desk for the incoming President. Surely this has been publicized before. Perhaps I had never realized the comedic gold that could come from such a note. The following is what I imagine the note might entail from now former President Bush:

Dearest Obama,

Welcome to the White House! By now you have realized that the drawer this note was residing in tends to stick a little. Me and Laura left a half empty box of Pizza Hut in the fridge, you are welcome to it. I have left a bit of our luggage in the Blue Room since Continental would only let us check 2 bags for free. We will pick those up later if we decide to vacation in D.C.

A couple things to keep in mind as you venture around the place. First, watch out for Pierre the groundskeeper. I am 99% sure he stole my good shovel. Secondly, the Green Room appears to be haunted by the ghost of Chester A. Arthur. He is good for a nice chat every once in a while. Feel free to play with any and all nerf toys I have strewn about the house that I have forgot to pack. They are yours now my friend.

Please also be advised that you may want to ask the Secret Service to reinstall solitaire on the Presidential computer. I had to have it removed for I found it too distracting. Also keep in mind that many of the doors in the oval office look like walls, but fear not, you will be able to get out.

And now, I must leave for I was supposed to be on stage with you at your inauguration nearly 15 minutes ago. Good luck with this tough job. And don't forget to set the alarm on Air Force One when you park it in a bad country.

Regards,

President Bush

P.S. By the time you read this, I will be known as Former President Bush, so keep that in mind when reading my signature above.